19 December 2005

how is this more okay?

it’s been a long time. i know. and it’s not that i’ve forgotten, not at all. i keep thinking, oh, i should write in my blog, (hell, even lance is writing in his again) but then, i don’t have anything to write. which isn’t to say that i have nothing to say. i have plenty to say. always. all the time constantly. just ask the people i live with. but way back when at this blog’s inception (conception?) i decided that this wasn’t going to be a venty/this-is-what-i-ate-for-lunch type of blog, but a venty/here’re-some-thoughtful-thoughts blog. which, for the most part, i’ve kept to really well. just lately, i’ve had nothing to share along those lines.

so does that leave us with me being, lately, an unthoughtful person? maybe. or maybe just too self-centered. so that all of my thoughts are about me and my feelings and my life and... okay, this is a very fine distinction to draw. ten pages about that fake engagement ring are okay, but talking about the lullabye* workshop last week wouldn’t be?

maybe it’s a distinction that’s all in my head – the ring thing was just so much less personal than what i might have had to say about lullabye. (and as for why a simple play reading ended up feeling so personal... well now i’m just being a tease, aren’t i.) the ring was a thoughtful thing, not a venting emotions thing. argh. this all makes no sense. but i want to be writing here, and if that means writing about what i am or am not allowed to write, well then. (how is this better, less drivelly, than writing along the here’s-what-i-did-today lines?)

well, um, so there. here i am. writing. in my blog. stay tuned – maybe tomorrow i’ll tell you what i had for breakfast. or maybe i’ll remember how to think, and not just wallow in my own life. who knows. (hint: the oatmeal will probably win.)

*not a typo – that’s how the title is spelled. whether it’s intentional or rami can’t spell, i have no idea. that wasn’t one of the top-of-the-list questions. somewhere along the line it got lost between "is that character imaginary?" and "how are you imagining time working in this play?" you know, little questions like that.

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