28 March 2006

this is what brings me back?

it's been a very flashback-to-brown couple of days. first, yesterday morning, walking down the most times-squarey block of 42nd street to work, i passed my junior year postmodernism professor, whose class mildly changed my life, and on whom i still harbor a major crush, the kind reserved for stammering redheaded british postmodernism professors. it's a special love. now, last week, i'd noticed on disruptive juxtaposition that one of wil's former students, from when he was a grad student somewhere in oregon, had stumbled across his blog and left a comment. 'how cute,' i thought. and the next thought was how i would love to find my freshman year english ta, whose section had been wonderful, and on whom i had had my first, and best, ta crush, the kind reserved for slightly pudgy blonde english grad students with giant-sized dunkin donuts iced coffees and thick black glasses before everyone and their mother had thick black glasses. that in mind, i sent that postmodernism professor a much-overdue note - aside from having a major crush on him (which really didn't diferentiate me from the rest of the class), i learned a ridiculous amount from that class. it's the kind of class you go to college for, the kind that you leave with not just more knowledge, but better at thinking. there's no better, less-cliched phrase for it: he expanded my mind. and so without the druggie terminology, i sent him a short email, telling him.

then, flashback-to-brown item 2 - i got an email back from the english department secretary i'd emailed last week, since, though i loved my blonde english ta very much, i didn't happen to remember his last name. figuring good intentions would outweigh sketchy stalker karma, i googled him, and, bada-bing bada-email-address. composed well-meaning, overdue, i'm-telling-you-what-a-great-teacher-you-were-but-not-what-a-huge-crush-i-had-on-you email number two. and got a lovely reply.* which, though lovely and grateful and didn't accuse me of sketchiness what with the googling, sadly didn't include an invitation out for drinks. and to which i wisely refrained from replying, 'and by the way, i totally had a crush on you that semester.' if i happened to have crushes on two of my five best teachers at brown, it does nothing to lessen the greatness of their teaching. well, at least for the pomo prof. he really was remarkable. i think the ta was a great teacher, too, but being cute never made it harder to pay attention, or made anyone want to do the reading to please the teacher less... oh, give me a break. i was a freshman, the lectures for the class were lame, and he made it worthwhile. it was a 2pm friday section. give me credit for even showing up.

and then just now, my head all up in the clouds of what-if-i-ran-into-the-cute-ta-who-teaches-sixth-grade-now-in-brooklyn(-no-i'm-not-stalking-him-i-googled-him-for-his-email-address-and-he-was-fine-with-that-because-i-made-his-day), one of the interns at work announces that she brought us 'magic cookie bars.' they're frickin magic bars. honest to goodness ratty magic bars. in my office. pracitcally makes up for the fact that the ta will never be my boyfriend. almost makes up for the fact that i have a hacking cough you can hear half way to rhode island. and now if someone can find me gate sauce in manhattan, i will be all set.

*from the first i'd gotten an out-of-office reply, dashing all hopes of a 'jaime, how lovely! and how lucky i'm in your city on spring break! come join me at this postmodernism conference, and then, fancy tea and a shag?'


karenleslie said...

Speaking of "sketchy stalker karma", I must say that I am just as guilty. :)

I used to post a lot on helpforibs.com and bookmarked your blog. Every once in a while I see surplus and go "what is that again" ? And then check to see what your up to. I don't know a lot about the theater scene, so it is always interesting to read your blog.

The internet is a sneaky place!

anna said...

you know how much i enjoyed this post, but i'm telling you anyway.