23 November 2006

Tradition on TV

Good morning folks. I can't imagine anyone wants to read this, but who reads blogs on Thanksgiving, anyway? Besides, if I've got to blog today, might as well make it count. So let's go. Liveblogging the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

9:02: Meredith Viera, on the chilly weather: "You might see some purple lips, but they'll be all smiles." Horrifying.

9:05: Coming attractions. Blah, blah, Hiro from "Heroes," blah... unimpressive Broadway casts - Spamalot, Color Purple, The Grinch - seriously? I might shower during the parade and save the dog show.

[Update: Hiro went to Brown! Represent.]

9:07: A special song performed by Camp Broadway, written by the guy who owns Macy's, or something. "Give Me a Drum." Campy Broadway is ruining these children. Interesting seeing which chorus kids are tracking the camera and which aren't... Ah, they can all tap. Yeah, this is the way to teach kids who "love theater," or whatever Meredith Viera said.

9:10: "Coming up, the cast of A Chorus Line." Ah, the other thing lied. And I'm not sure I care. Maybe I should go back to bed. My nose is stuffy.

9:14: Hiro speaks English. My world is broken. I don't watch the show any more, but Hiro, even English-speaking Hiro, is so cute. And Al Roker has butchered every bit of promotional chatter for the show. Poor Hiro.

9:15: A Chorus Line, and I've decided I'm awake enough to italicize show titles. My mom comes in to ask about me doing my laundry, and stands riveted for the whole number. I feel bad for people who have to do sharp, dancey Broadway choreography for a close-up camera. Every time Jason Tam is on camera, I say hi. "Hi Jason Tam." Michael Beresse is dancing in the number. He's not normally in it, right? My mother would freaking love this show. She's almost teary at the end, as the cast tableaus and waves to their moms. I tell her she would love this show. She says that's not why she's crying. But the fact that the waving at the moms gets her crying, that she loves every time a little Broadway dancer gets their close-up, I mean, it's perfect.

9:25: The Grinch. That's pretty damn cute. If the black Whoville kid has to have a hip-hoppy backwards baseball cap, why no cultural signifier for the Asian Who? People have noticed that the Grinch is a total fag, right? I'm seeing that cartoon in a whole new light. Note: Must ask James, see if he has this companion to Kate's 'Bugs Bunny's cross-dressing made me gay.'

9:29: Text message from John: Are you watching the grinCh on the parade? The gayEst Villain ever? Conversation on the gayness of Villains (Capt. Hook, Scar, Maleficent) ensues.

9:32: Another missed commercial break opportunity for laundry. Martin Short's taking us on a helicopter tour of the route. I'm going to fold some socks.

9:38: I missed The Color Purple, and John sent me a text message about wanting a Jersey Boy for Christmas. Oops.

9:42: John informs me that the parade is on two channels. Shit. And ooh, channel 2 has Mark Feuerstein. Who just had a baby! I once met Mark Feuerstein's mom. We were in line for a bathroom. He had just gotten married. I ended up seeing pictures. Every time he has a nice success, I think how happy his mom must be. She was very sweet. I feel bad for her that "3 lbs" is soooooo bad.

9:44: CBS's coverage includes cameras in Times Square. I refuse to watch this parade with the Toys R Us store in the background.

9:44: Spamalot. Plug for the National Tour. Bring me Christian Borle!
Eh, Michael McGrath'll do. I have no idea who this King Arthur is.
"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." Totally the most rousing number in the show. Except that it's not. I mean, I loves a soft shoe like anyone else, but... yeah. (Okay, a soft shoe with dubbed tap noises.) Isn't the point of the show that it's funny? (I think I asked that question when I saw it! Zing!)

9:51: Commercial for "You're the One that I Want." I can't even.

9:58: The parade has just arrived in Herald Square. So none of those Broadway casts are represented in the real parade at all? That's sad. I hope Hiro's on a float somewhere.

10:00: It's the 80th anniversary of the parade. I think it once maybe wasn't one big commercial for Broadway and bad TV, but who knows.

10:01: Ah, the balloons. Here the nostalgia kicks in. Pilgrim heads, Snoopy. Good times. My dad seemed to always pick a stretch of Central Park West for parade viewing that was in between marching band songs, so we always got a little drum filler as they rested between songs. That was fun.

10:02: They seem to be keeping the balloons low to the ground, as it's windy and gross out. I always wanted to know how one becomes a parade balloon operator. I think I would still like to do that some day.

10:03: High School Musical is on the USPS float. Of course. I've lived in High School Musical ignorance until this moment. "Everyone is different in their own way... we're different in a good way."

10:05: Dog show commercial! Still hosted by John O'Hurley, which is pure brilliance. Mom wants me to make my pie now. Limited liveblogging for a little while. But hey - pie!

10:12: First pie adventure of the day: I forgot apple sauce. Road trip!

10:13: This bumble bee song, meant for toddlers, is pretty catchy. Buzz buzz buzz. Okay, off to Shop Rite.

And then she found herself in a super-sized supermarket in New Jersey (her mother doesn't even live in New Jersey!) wearing a teal raincoat two sizes too big, and lo, she found herself afraid. The Suburbs. But then she saw this tall, grizzled, Hugh-Laurie type in a suit vest and cobalt velvet jacket, and she was less afraid, because the man had a young son, so all hope was not lost.

Cutting margarine into flour is not the same as with chilled butter. Alton Brown is frowning over my shoulder. This feels like cookie dough. The crumbs might not be so crumbly. Why didn't I DVR the dog show?

12:24: After averting the crumb-topping disaster (thanks to Alton, I knew to put the not-crumbly stuff into the freezer for ten minutes), pie is in the oven. Dog show is in commercial. My sister and I are bickering. Happy Thanksgiving.


Joe said...

I have a new tradition. My new tradition is reading this blog on Thanksgiving morning. Happy Thankgiving, lady! Make a good pie. Yes.

Rocco said...

Nice. Work.

I missed all of this this morning. So thanks for the recap.

One day soon, all the theatres in America will only show High School Musical. Mark my words.