18 June 2007

Monday Catblogging Is Totally Gay, And An Invitation

I show you this:

And you say, "Oh my god, Jaime, that is totally gay!" And I say, "Like, gay gay or sweater gay?" But because you're not James, who doesn't read my blog (because he's a horrible friend, and we're moving out of our apartment end of the summer, more on that later), you just say, "Like, gay gay. Like posting pictures of kittens and guinea pigs or whateverthefuck that is." And I say, "You want gay? I'll show you gay!" Even though of course you obviously didn't want gay (though, FYI, you just meant sweater gay, unless you were objecting to the fact that the kitten and guinea pig are both boys or something), but I wasn't really paying attention, because I really just needed an excuse to segue (ever-so-gracefully) into this:

One might wonder how the hell I got invited to this. If I were to guess, I'd say the blogs I read break down this way: 20% parents with small children, 30% gay men who do theatre, 20% straight men who do theatre, 20% straight men who have nothing to do with theatre and drink entirely too much, and 2% one bisexual girl who happens to have a friend in Les Mis. I'd guess my own postings break down thusly: 60% theatre, 15% tv, 10% Neil Gaiman, 40% cute boys, 3% lists of percentages that don't add up to 100. And yet, and yet. There's no way for them to have known that a good 35% of my interactions with my closest friends involve them calling me gay (neither gay gay nor sweater gay, but lesbian gay, as in wears-sneakers-a-lot gay), but it's almost too easy now, isn't it.

It's being organized by Curly of Ham & Cheese on Wry, and one could be very amused, if one liked to see me be self-conscious and weird, by the awkward evolution (or stagnation) of my subtle hint-dropping in our email exchanges that while I'm totally psyched about the gathering and meeting all these lovely folks, I'm attending as a representative of the gay-friendly blogosphere. I know - the lack of a boyfriend and devotion to stumptuous.com can be confusing.

I feel like I'm getting into retarded "Not that there's anything wrong with it" territory here. I'm much more comfortable indiscriminately throwing around the word "retarded" than "gay," anyway. There's this lesbian bloggers party, and I'm going, and you should, too. Okay. What? Oh, right. Cats. Here, for my soon-to-be abundant lesbian readership:

Cats 'n racks. Happy Monday.


Freeman said...

One of my brothers is gay. Another is retarded. Therefore, I am twicely offended.

Jaime said...

Your mom is gay and retarded.

crimenotes said...

Straight men who drink entirely too much! I know what site that is!

Except that my co-blogger is retarded.

It's a half-retard blog operated by a bag-headed crotch-grabber and his retard sidekick, putting it in a class by itself.

nick said...

You never showed up, but only two helium blogging balloons went up at the Pretentious bloggingevent. I had a whole tank full leftover so I had wanted to show you this old school Catblogging technique.