31 October 2007

Two Kittens

First, a kitten who is not mine. A kitten who is an internet celebrity. A kitten wishing you a happy Halloween:


Thank you, Winston. Read (and see) the whole thing here.

(Wouldn't it be amazing if I was just like, yo, this is my kitten, and passed off pictures of Winston as my own cat for the rest of my life? I'd be all, check out my adorably crabby cat! He's the best! And I'd have video, too! Like, hey, here's this hot dude who came and gave my cat a bath, which doesn't sound dirty at all. He's not gay. And he's my boyfriend.)

But now a kitten who is not dressed up for Halloween. A kitten who is not an internet celebrity. (YET.) And a kitten who, unlike Winston, doesn't have a name. This is the phone picture by which she was introduced to the world:


What a crazy bitch. Turns out she wasn't scared or upset, she just reallyreallyreally wanted to be petted. Also, she maybe didn't like spending an hour-long bus ride trying to avoid stepping in cat poop, but you know whose cat poop that was? Exactly. Too bad, little girl.

I am a horrible parent.

Here's when she doesn't look like a rabid vampire:


But yeah, five days and still no name.* There's something Russian about her, and she's a little princessy. But no, I am not naming her Anastasia. Cause then her name would be Stacey. And Stacey was always my least-favorite Babysitter of the Club. Well, sometimes Kristy. And Mary Anne was a fucking drip. Maybe I'll name the kitten Claudia, and dress her up in spunky clothes.


Contrary to what this picture tells you, the kitten is neither pot-bellied nor paraplegic. I like to think that her splotchy coloring means she's a genetic freak and has two dads. She is very sweet, and purrs like a motherfucker. Or whines like a brat for you to pet her. But then you do, and she purrs like a motherfucker. She also really fucking loves that ball of fur on a string. Life is so simple.

As for naming the beast, I've got a few ideas. Stella's been a front-runner, but ex-roommate reminded me (via Kate) that her cat is named Stella, and if I steal her cat name, she will cut me, which I challenge her to come up from Washington DC or wherever she lives now and do. James likes Julia and Natasha. (Tasha for short? British pronunciation? Tash? Makes me think of Dash Snow for some reason?) There's also Sonia, which is nicely sort of Russian, right? And Ursula, which was a runner-up name for Meg, and also creates, either nicely or dorkily, a rough Woman Sci-Fi/Fantasy Writer theme. Anyone know Russian and have some cool words to suggest? Stupid Tony Kushner didn't write enough women in Slavs! for me to mine that. Fucking Tony Kushner, ruins everything.

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*That's like a Jewish thing or something, right? To wait eight days before naming a baby? Or three? I am so connected to my heritage. But I can rock a Passover seder like nobody's business.

7 comments:

parabasis said...

i think that cat is cute enough to warrant a non-human name, frankly. And given that she looks like a Mogwai, Gizmo is the obvious choice. But obvious choices are often disappointing.

hmm.. i shall think on it...

Jaime said...

Yah, I'm open to non-person-name cat names. Just wary of getting into, like, "Snowball" territory. I don't like cat names that just sound like cat names. (Also good - full-name cat names. Like James really wants to name a cat Benjamin Disraeli. His new cat is AS Byatt, but should have been Louise Gl├╝ck.) Just wary of getting into, like, "Snowball" territory. I don't like cat names that just sound like cat names.

anna said...

i like tasha (no "na"). sonia's a great name, but tasha is sassier. and she looks like a sassy cat.

james really named a cat as byatt? does he call it byatt?

hm, russian names. masha, nadya, ksenya. katya! hah. i made a funny.

was thinking about greta (i'd like to name something greta - maybe in a novel), but then thought of gita, which is indian. hm.

Kathryn said...

i like tasha (or with the "na") too. i met the crazy bitch. she's totally a (na)tasha.

Anonymous said...

First of all, she is adorable, seems to be more chatty than Sylvia Miles and she is obviously a diva (and deservedly so). Does Meg hate her yet? I hope not.

At any rate, for your obsessive perusal:
http://www.womenrussia.com/rusnames.htm

Okay, have to drink more tea before I cough up a lung. thanks for tonight's postponement. xo

Anonymous said...

omg, I just took a closer look at what I sent you and it's some fucked up Russian brides website! I thought it was for baby names *kicks self*

Sorry.

THIS is what I was looking for:
http://www.babynamescountry.com/origins/russian_baby_names1.html

thank god I post under "anonymous."

Freeman said...

I've always been partial to regular person names like "Jenny" or "Ray" or "Nick" for animals. Because even if "Mr. Sparkle Shoes" or "Kwanzi Kittenboots" sounds like a good idea at the time... you're going to be stuck with that name forever. Like a tattoo.

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